I took some time to binge watch the Marvel TV Series “She-Hulk,” and it left me in deep reflection. After watching all 4 episodes, it left me with 3 thoughts to unpack. I would like to start with the first one.
I hope I am not the only one who watches shows or movies and finds deeper meanings. :)
To ensure you at least have an idea of what the show is about, it’s about an attorney named Jen Walters, who finds her life turned upside after having her cousin Bruce Banner’s (the Original Hulk), blood poured into her bloodstream after a terrible car accident. The result of Banner’s blood being poured into her resulting in her having abilities to transform into her own version of the Hulk. Due to this metamorphosis and new reality, it ends up causing her to lose her job as an attorney, in which she thoroughly found fulfillment in. Prior to her being terminated from employment, her cousin, Banner, kept urging her to prepare to step into her new responsibilities of being a super-hero, in which she fought against with an emphatic, “no.”
She was comfortable in the occupation that she was use to, and did not want anything to do with what would come with her new powers.
This is the exact season that I am in right now, and as I share transparently about it, I hope it encourages you.
I have been in a season of surrender like no other. As many of you know, I have several passions, and juggling them at times can be quite taxing. The burden gets heavy often. I struggle with the fear of the Master returning and finding my talents hidden under a rock. I tremble at the thought of being rebuked for not being a good steward of them. This constant anticipation of the Lord’s return keeps me willing to cultivate my talents in whatever way I can. But I must admit, it gets difficult navigate the demands. In the past few months I’ve learned the fundamentals of mixing/mastering, I’ve learned how to launch an LLC, I’ve learned how to operate a few streaming softwares, I’ve released 5 songs, I’ve learned how to run facebook ads, I’ve learned how to run an e-commerce store, and I officially launched a book!
I thank God.
I was about to release another song and I felt a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit, “be still Kevin.” I almost released it anyways, but I knew that it would be totally against what I was sensing so I pulled back. Isn’t it interesting that we can sense when the Holy Spirit is prompting us to pause and we tend to ignore Him and still want to do things our own way.
What I can truly sense is that there is something that God wants to establish through me with this book now being out and I need to make room for whatever it is that’s coming.
It’s time to pause some things “I want to do” and zone into some things “He is calling me to do” in this season.
It feels sort of like a greater call. I’ve felt this similar impression in prior seasons where my assignment was primarily function as a musician. But then some seasons come and bring a shift, where I need to lay down the keyboard and embrace the greater call. It is never easy, but it’s something I sense deep in my spirit that I just can’t shake in this season.
So I surrender.
I’m making room for the greater call. I trust that in a different season I may be able to work on more music production and engineering. Truthfully though, I feel I need to be in a place where even that season does not come, I need to be content.
There are life-altering moments in life where God calls us to lay down what we “want to do” for His will. Our will is often not in alignment with His. At least for, I know it to be true at times. And every day I am learning what it means when Jesus prayed, “not my will, but Yours be done.”
So it brings me back to She-Hulk…
Clearly she is being stretched in a new dimension. With new responsibility, which will lead to new realities. But she wants to hold on to what she knows. What she intentionally invested in. What people know her as. Then she is let go from her job… moving from…